ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
