what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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