Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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