What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
if only i could text you this smell
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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