I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
