I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
