You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
