I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You are the jesus of drinking
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
