btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
