How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
