Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
