i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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