SEEEEXXX PLEASE
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
