Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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