I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
