did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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