cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
