Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
