The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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