We won't sleep together?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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