peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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