We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
