I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
