She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Randomize
