I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
