I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
