Do you still have your period?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
