i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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