You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
