he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
