I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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