you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
