this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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