sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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