Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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