Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
