just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
