You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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