My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
