he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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