dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
wow bdsm is so cute
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