Fine. I'll sleep in my office
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
