one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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