My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
