pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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