all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
where are you?
Hypothermia
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Randomize
