While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
