He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
