It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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