I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
