Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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